


Is This the Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

by firefly124



Series: 2020 AdventDrabbles [24]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU in which 15x19 made sense and 15x20 didn't happen, Community: adventdrabbles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28536846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefly124/pseuds/firefly124
Summary: Castiel is confused by Dean’s behavior. He should have realized it came from the same place as so many confusing things he does.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: 2020 AdventDrabbles [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050380
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Is This the Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

**Author's Note:**

> Written to the prompt [Christmas Around the World](https://imgur.com/a/XcgaYr3) for the [AdventDrabbles community on Dreamwidth](https://adventdrabbles.dreamwidth.org/).

Castiel was perplexed when Dean pulled him into the kitchen. He’d have thought he’d want to spend more time congratulating Sam and Eileen rather than ducking away from them under the pretense of bringing more libations for everyone to toast them. He knew better than to ask, though. Sure enough, as he counted off beer and soda bottles, Dean finally spoke.

“You’ve seen a lot of Christmases,” Dean said. “I mean, including the original, right?”

“Yes,” Castiel replied. “I was not among the angels detailed to serenade the Christ child, but I did observe.”

“And you’ve seen how many millions of celebrations from all over the world, right?”

“Of course.” What was Dean getting at? “Did you want a precise number?”

“Nah, just … I feel like this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had. But it probably doesn’t really compare to some of what you’ve seen.”

“Dean.” Castiel took his hand and interlaced their fingers. “This is the first Christmas celebration I have shared with you. Many of the people we love are all here, safe and joyful together. Sam and Eileen are expecting, meaning that you are soon to be an uncle—”

“Hey, you too. You really think you wouldn’t be Uncle Cas?”

The thought was pleasant. Castiel had grown to love fatherhood, for all the worries and pains it brought. He wondered how being an uncle would be different. That, however, was not the point.”

“What I was trying to say is that even if we were relegated to a cave normally used to house beasts of burden, this would be the best Christmas I have ever experienced.”

Dean was fast for a human. Castiel imagined that if he were human himself, he would have been startled by the speed with which Dean lunged closer, cradled Castiel’s face in his hands, and kissed him as if he had just returned from the Empty again. As it was, he had the luxury of time to appreciate the minute changes in Dean’s expression as he processed what Castiel had said, considered and then decided upon his response, and finally the bliss of kissing and being kissed by him.

When they separated, Dean murmured, “You’re real. You’re here and this is all real. No Djinn dream. No Chuck setting us up for something bad. This is real.”

Castiel cocked his head. “What do you imagine a Djinn-toxin-induced version of me would have replied?”

“I dunno. Probably a lecture on the original Christmas and how it didn’t involve pine trees and snow and Santa.”

That sent a sharp pang through Castiel’s very grace. Not disappointment in Dean seeing him that way, but that he felt that was the response he would deserve, even in an idealized world. He still didn’t believe he deserved to be loved.

“This is real,” Castiel confirmed. “I’m here, and I’m real, and I love you.”

The joy of saying it hadn’t diminished in the least. If anything, knowing that he would have opportunity to say it again and again only brought that joy into the realm of bliss.

“Damn, I love you too.” Dean’s voice was husky and his eyes were bright with the tears he was holding back. He looked down at the various bottles he’d pulled out. “We should get back in there for that toast.”

Castiel picked up several of the bottles, threading their necks between his fingers as Dean did, following him back into the living room where Jody had pulled Eileen aside for a conversation that appeared serious and Donna was bubbling joyfully at Sam. Yes, it was real. Yes, it was perfect. And just as Dean was allowed to be happy about it, Castiel was too.


End file.
